Do not fear the wolves

Yes, it has to do with wolves and fear. There is a revelation at the end that does pertain to Mill, but the way it all went down is why the story is so relevant.

We went to a bonfire at a friends house in October.  The boys were VERY excited.  They have had bonfires in Mississippi on the farm, so this concept wasn't new to them...in fact they love it!  It was however their first bonfire with school friends.

Finally the day came and all I heard was "Is it time yet?" "Is it time yet?" "Is it time yet?".  Penn and I decided I would take the boys since he wanted to stay home and hang with Millie (dark, cold and smoke=no good for Mill LOL!) so the three of us, Neal, Sam and myself, left to go roast hot dogs and make s'moores.  I just knew the boys were going to be in heaven...they love playing outside and with flashlights, and our friends are really creative so I figured I would have to drag them home screaming.

Our little fox friend

To give you a mental picture, our neighborhood is an older one so it is quite wooded and we have a menagerie of wildlife around...huge bucks, deer, rabbits, hawks, foxes and coyotes.  We see most on a regular basis but it never ceases to amaze us at the nature conservatory in our own backyard!!  I mean, we live in the middle of Nashville!

It started out as fun as I imagined :) We were enjoying our friends, the kids were running back and forth from the house to the fire.  It was dusk and the kids were chasing each other and pretend animals down the creek and back. I don't really know how it all got started but the kids were all talking, very matter-of-factly, about wolves in the woods.  One thing led to another and the next thing I know Sam is in my lap by the fire crying.  Not too bad at first.  All the talk of wolves had scared him because we've seen lots of animals in the neighborhood.  I was able to calm him some and we talked about trusting mom and how mom and dad wouldn't let wolves eat him... so he decided he just wanted to go sit inside the house.

A few moments later we all hear a "MOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!" coming from the house but before we could even get up from our seats here comes Sam like a bat out of hell! Apparently there had been a knocking sound in the house and the kids told him the wolves were coming to get him.  He was clawing at my shirt, pushing and pulling, hysterical that the wolves were going to get him.  He almost drew blood scratching at me trying to get me to our van!  Balling his eyes out!  I tried my very best to calm him.  I was actually crying from laughing so hard at the scene!!  (I didn't let him see me though, wouldn't dare let him think his fear is funny to me.)  In his mind, just beyond the tree line there were HUGE gnarling wolves with blood dripping from their teeth waiting to pounce on his little body....

It broke my heart that as much as I tried to console him and get him to trust me, his fear had taken over and he was completely irrational.  It made me sad to see him so afraid of something that I knew, beyond a SHADOW of a doubt, was not there!!

I knew there was no hope but to leave so I graciously thanked our host, who was apologizing profusely (poor thing LOL!) and carried my crumpled heap of Sam to the car, Neal following in tow repeating the familiar childhood mantra of "I didn't do it...".  (Which we all know means "I did it.")

Penn was surprised to see us home so early yet was more surprised to see the red-eye boy I was still carrying in! We had another talk with him about trusting his parents and how we would NEVER put him in danger.  He was much more open to this talk now that he was safe and warm in his bed.

Where's the revelation?  The day after I was thinking through the scenario... how worked up Sam was, how I rationally knew that there are no wolves in the woods.  I mean, come on...think of how absurd it is for your child to think that a WOLF was going to come into your backyard during a party and get them...

Being the adult in the situation, I had the knowledge, experience and wisdom to know what Sam does not.  And then I thought about Millie.  Sometimes I get so worked up with worry, fear, sadness and grief that it can literally be consuming....could it be that I am fearing the wolves???  What if I were Sam in the situation and my inner voice, the one I hear telling me she will be fine, is my "adult", my "God",my "Superior Being", the one I trust, the one with the knowledge, experience and wisdom of a situation that I do not have???

It was then that I decided I would NOT give into the fear...those blood suckers I can't see that aren't even there.  Everyone has them; jobs, bills, judgments, tasks, people we love....all those things we think about and are scared of.  But you see the problem is if we don't nip the fear in the bud, it takes over....our thoughts become hysterical and irrational.  Some turn upwards to God, some turn inwards to their own spirit; but whichever you choose you have to know that the fear is not real.

Next time you feel it bubbling, the wrench in your gut as you approach a situation, think of Sam, and listen to your "adult", just know it's fear and it's not REAL.

I hope it help :)

XOXO Millie and Mom